Volume 61 - December 2011
Legal cartoon, john fytit, Paul Brennan

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This month

  • Making a speech to your teenage daughter's friends.  The Do's and the Whatever's.
  • Free legal advice but there is a catch -  Legal Lonely Hearts
  • The 2012 Annual Legal Cartoon Competition.

 

 

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Paul Brennan

Editor

Author of The Law is an Ass...Make Sure it Doesn't Bite Yours!

info@lawanddisorder.com.au

101 reasons to kill all the lawyers

 

 

 


“To present to your peers is stressful but to present to your teenage daughter’s peers is up there with death and moving house”   Paul Brennan

SPEECH TO THE CLASS OF 2011, VALEDICTORY DINNER,

IMMANUEL LUTHERAN COLLEGE

                                                                               

Commercial Lawyer's Mug A teacher wrote in my Annual School Report, “Lazy, talkative and notable”. I thought “notable” did not sound too bad until I realized it was “not able”. They were the days before parent rage stalked school halls and teachers would give their unrestrained opinions. Today, they give students like me a more subtly insulting “You must be very proud of him”.

Some people say that teachers do not have a sense of humour.  I do not know where they would get that impression. In fact, all teachers and school staff have a wonderful sense of humour, they just can’t let students and us parents in on it. For instance, you cannot find the books you look for in the library, the librarians have convinced you that it is your fault as you do not understand the Dewey Decimal system.  In fact, there is no Dewey Decimal system . The Head Librarian, Mr Smith comes in every night and moves the books around. He thinks it is funny. 

To be a student with a passion for practical jokes may feel pretty good but to be Head of Senior School with a passion for practical jokes is out of sight. Now there is something to aim for.

Never, never, never lose your sense of humour. Your parents and teachers will tell you that there are many days in life when you will need it.  There is one coming up very soon.  The day your final examination results arrive. Before your parents launch into their usual tirade, having for your entire life brushed over their own school academic record, as I have done. Remind them that many of our greatest Australians did not get a good final exam result  either.  For instance, Ned Kelly, Mr Squiggle, Dorothy the Dinosaur. In fact, watching question time in our Parliament, it is clear that the country is being run by C students. This may seem wrong to you students but believe me it will give your parents great comfort and is the only thing keeping some of your teachers going, it gives them hope.

In a moment, I am going to ask all to stand as I wish to propose a toast to the teachers and staff of this the greatest school on the Sunshine Coast and I am not saying that because you lot are leaving. The toast shall be the words of Tina Turner “simply the best”. 

Paul Brennan

Sunshine Coast, Queensland, 18 November 2011

(Edited version)

(c) Paul Brennan a lawyer practicing on Queensland's Sunshine Coast

Click here for books, eBooks and CDs by Paul Brennan.

Like this cartoon mug? Click here to reward your commercial law team with mugs, shirts, clocks, intimate apparel and lots more. 


Legal Lonely hearts

Estates lawyer's Aluminum Photo Keychain

  • Young lawyer seeks girlfriend, must be good listener.
  • Commercial lawyer wltm suitable party to make a 35 page proposal, maybe more.
  • Health and safety lawyer, looking for non-smoking, sensible lady. No clutzes.
  • Litigation lawyer nsoh seeks like minded with inability to see others point of view, for tempestuous relationship. No mediators.
  • Barrister seeks solicitor to further his career, maybe more.
  • Prosecutor seeks someone who is prepared to admit it is their fault, even if it isn’t.

Interested? Please apply in confidence to John Fytit
# wltm Would like to meet.
* nsoh. No sense of humour.

For more Legal Lonely Hearts go to Reason 18 101 Reasons to Kill All the Lawyers

(c) Paul Brennan 2011. All rights reserved.  Extract from John Fytit’s International Legal Problem Page where lawyer, John Fytit solves your legal problems. For more go to   https://www.lawanddisorder.com.au/legaladvicepage.html

 

Like this cartoon? Click here to attempt to cheer up your estates law team with mugs, shirts, clocks, intimate apparel and lots more. 


2012 Annual Legal Cartoon Competition

 

legal cartoon competition, 2012Win your own copy of

The Law is an Ass...Make Sure it Doesn't Bite Yours!

 

 Please submit your own legal cartoon or a caption for this legal cartoon by email to

info@lawanddisorder.com.au  on or before 25 February 2012.  The winner shall be announced in the March 2012 issue of the Law & Disorder eZine and displayed at https://www.lawanddisorder.com.au/comp.html  together with the best entries.

Click here to read the Rules of the competition which shall be binding on all entrants. 

Only subscribers to the Law & Disorder eZine can enter however subscription is free and immediate at https://www.lawanddisorder.com.au/ezine.html.

If you want to run your own cartoon competition using Law & Disorder Cartoons send your request by email to info@lawanddisorder.com.au


law logo, paul brennan

Have you decided what to buy the legal person in your life? Were they really happy with your choice last year? With Christmas only days away are you starting to feel desperate?

Click here to buy legal gifts from a selection to suit over 25 different types of lawyers.

" As a partner at a law firm my husband is particularly miserable especially around Christmas. But last year, I gave him a Law & Disorder gift and he raised a smile. It made Christmas for us all. I am hoping to do the same thing again this year" A grateful wife.


Disclaimer: The content of the Law & Disorder eZine is to give you legal basics and in some instances included unashamedly to try and make you laugh.  In law it is sometimes difficult to work out what is serious and what is just for fun.  Therefore, if you plan to do anything legal, rely on your own lawyer’s advice or instruct me to look at the particular facts of your case.  Not only will I deny responsibility for the legal content but also for some of the jokes.

 

In this Issue
Relating to an audience - teenagers

Free legal advice but there is a catch -Legal Lonely hearts

2012 Annual Legal Cartoon Competition

 

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The Law & Disorder eZine attempts to provide legal information in an entertaining and amusing manner to help clients avoid predictable legal issues.

Sub-editor :

Alice Brennan

Brief Books

PO Box 27
Mooloolaba
Queensland 4557
Australia

brief books, Paul Brennan

QLD BN22069914

Phone: 07 5438 8199

Fax: 07 5438 8836

info@brennanlaw.com.au

www.brennanlaw.com.au

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