37 - December 2009
Announcing the winner of the 2009 Law & Disorder Cartoon Caption Competition below.
Also, a job vacancy for a legal secretary.
Editor the Law & Disorder eZine
Quiet in the Court!
Nowadays, judges often feel that they should give the appearance of being impartial even when one party has a hopeless case.
This impartiality could have been achieved by listening quietly and politely. However, judges have found it difficult to restrain their traditional pent up anger, general grumpiness and twisted sense of humour which has always made listening such a challenge for them.
Therefore, judges took to criticizing both sides in what they believed was an even handed manner. In practice, this usually amounted to launching blistering attacks against anyone who raised their head above the parapet.
Advocates became fearful to say anything at all, which only encouraged judges to greater outbursts.
Lawyers became too embarrassed to bring their clients to Court who turned out to prefer short upbeat briefings rather than wasting a day at Court. Lawyers began to send clients text message updates often during the hearing itself.
Lawyers who had always made their bravest and most confident speeches in conference with their clients at their own offices, days or weeks before the court case, now wondered, why go to court at all? So they didn’t.
Client meetings were no longer rushed and could take all day. Without the oppressive atmosphere of a court room and in the comfort of their own offices, lawyers started to enjoy advocacyonce again. They were able to quote Henry V and even Mel Gibson without snide remarks from the Bench. They even got a few laughs which had become almost impossible in the Courtroom.
Lawyers were no longer “In Court” when clients called. They became quite efficient and were able to get on with their real work. They no longer had to bother reading court rules or old cases; there was no need to prepare lengthy affidavits and written submissions. Litigation became cheap and even cheerful.
With the advent of Twitter some lawyers reduced lengthy reporting letters to 140 characters. But other lawyers included romantic interludes, car chases, Vampire Ushers and Zombie Clerks in their reports which were snapped up by publishers and some became best sellers.
Judges promised to be less cranky and offered 5 day trials in Bali but it was too late. Lawyers had become so popular that the Attorney General finally accepted that Judges had been to blame all along and they would all need to go out and get proper jobs.
So ended the Era of the Judges.
(c) Paul Brennan 2009. If you want to make a comment on this article go to Paul's Blog at
The job of your dreams
Do you know of a legal secretary who may wish to work in a Sunshine Coast law firm?
This is not an opportunity to get rid of your own secretary.
The work is varied. Commercial, property, litigation, wills and estates. Basically deals and disputes.
Christmas to our clients and all our readers in 20+ countries.
and author of eBook and CD the 10 Greatest Legal Mistakes in Business…and how to avoid them”.
Announcing the winner of the Annual Law & Disorder Legal Cartoon Caption Competition
Alex Raymond of South Australia wins a copy of The Law is an Ass...Make Sure it Doesn't Bite Yours!
"Laughing at Judge 'Custard Pie' Carter's jokes was a necessity if one didn't want to spend a fortune on dry-cleaning."
"There’s no judge for a good joke"
ENACT Business Architect, Sunshine Coast
Thank you for all those who participated and I look forward to your entries next year.
The content of the Law & Disorder eZine and website is to give you legal basics and in some instances included unashamedly to try and make you laugh. In law it is sometimes difficult to work out what is serious and what is just for fun. Therefore, if you plan to do anything legal, rely on your own lawyer’s advice or instruct me to look at the particular facts of your case. Not only will I deny responsibility for the legal content but also for some of the jokes.
© Paul Brennan 2009.
Author of the The Law is an Ass...Make Sure it Doesn't Bite Yours!