Volume 50 - January 2011
John Fytit lawyer, cartoon character in Law & Disorder eZine by Paul Brennan

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This month we celebrate our 50th edition probably by having an early night.


  • How to avoid being prosecuted for driving offences.
  • More tips on inheriting from rich relatives.
  • Our Annual Cartoon Competition.
  • New - Free IP lawyer screensaver.


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Paul Brennan


Author of The Law is an Ass...Make Sure it Doesn't Bite Yours!


101 reasons to kill all the lawyers



The Perfect crime

Legal Cartoon, suicide bombers,  Paul Brennan

Anyone who has seen The Wire will know the day to day difficulties of dealing in drugs.  Once, I was instructed by a client who was arrested for selling heroin just four days after he arrived in the country. There was cast iron evidence of him selling drugs to two undercover policemen.  The police had achieved a result which could usually take a whole season or at least 2 episodes of The Wire.

This was part of a police operation in a drug hotspot.  The police had set up cameras in strategic places to record the drug sales.

My client told me that he had been brought from Nigeria to sell heroin.  If true, the local criminals had “outsourced” the solution to the police crackdown by importing my client and others like him to carry the can; thus allowing the local criminals to get on with their other felonious little plans.

The police rather than feeling suckered seemed delighted by the guilty pleas and prison sentences resulting from the strong evidence. 

Police and other regulators, if left to their own devices, tend to choose the “low hanging fruit” to quickly produce statistics and avoid anything too hard e.g. shoplifting rather than fraud, speed cameras rather than anti-social behaviour.  Often it depends on the strength of evidence or if the suspect admits to the offence.

So, when you are being investigated e.g. turning right at a no right turn, admitting your guilt is more likely to result in a prosecution rather than you being let off.   This may not apply if you are an attractive, possibly tearful, young thing but if you too inhabit the world of the bald-headed, overweight and middle aged as we lawyers do, then certainly it is best to follow the advice of Ronan Keating and say nothing at all.

(c) Paul Brennan is a business and property lawyer on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland.  Both  "Deals and disputes".

Legal cartoon, barristers. courts, Paul BrennanIntestacy - the dead end


Dear John


My elderly cousin is dying and it looks as if I am the closest relative. He will not make a will as he hates lawyers-he used to be married to one. But he says that he wants me to inherit. He is worth a few bob and his property is in various states and countries.


DT. Sydney


Dear DT


Clearly, your cousin has been traumatised by his choice of spouse. This is not uncommon.


There is a certain pecking order where the deceased does not leave a will. It starts off with spouses and children, then often parents, brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews and finally government coffers. But, it is a list, like a shopping list and if you are not on the list however deserving your claim may be in your view, you lose out. 


What happens if you are illegitimate? Whereas illegitimate children are usually quite acceptable these days, illegitimate cousins are unlikely to make the list.


Some countries or states may not recognize the right of a cousin to be in the pecking order, at all. This could mean that you would not inherit property located in that state or country.


Therefore, it is important that you research where the assets are located and encourage your cousin to sell any inconveniently located assets.  Your lawyer can help you with this paperwork.


It may be necessary to relocate your cousin to a more convenient jurisdiction which fully recognises your claim.  If he is awkward and dying rich relatives can often be particularly miserable, it is best to leave the transfer to the last minute in order to minimise any unpleasant scenes. 


What happens if he dies in transit?  Well, it depends if anybody notices.



(c) Paul Brennan 2010.  Extract from John Fytit’s International Legal Problem Page. Now written on the 101 Reasons to Kill All the Lawyers Blog at http://101reasonstokillallthelawyers.com/

John Fytit is the name of the central cartoon charter in Law & Disorder cartoons which started in Hong Kong in 1992. He is from the fictitious Hong Kong firm Fytit & Loos (pronounced “Fight it and Lose”). A very unsuccessful name as people read “Fytit” as “Fit it”. The International Problem Page started in 2005 and was merged into Paul Brennan’s blog. But, not before John Fytit started to receive real legal questions from various parts of the world.


2011 Annual Legal Cartoon Competition

Legal Cartoon Competition, Paul Brennan


Win your own copy of

The Law is an Ass...Make Sure it Doesn't Bite Yours!





Please submit your own cartoon or a caption for this legal cartoon by email to

info@lawanddisorder.com.au  on or before 25 February 2011.  The winner shall be announced in the March 2011 issue of the Law & Disorder eZine and displayed at https://www.lawanddisorder.com.au/comp.html  together with the best entries.

Click here to read the Rules of the competition which shall be binding on all entrants. 

Only subscribers to the Law & Disorder eZine can enter however subscription is free and immediate at https://www.lawanddisorder.com.au/ezine.html.

If you want to run your own cartoon competition using Law & Disorder Cartoons send your request by email to info@lawanddisorder.com.au

Free Law & Disorder Screensavers

Legal cartoon, student, Paul BrennanWe have received a very positive response to the legal screensavers offer last month.  If you missed it

Click here.

By popular demand we have added a screen saver for IP lawyers.  We are happy to consider requests for other legal screensavers from those in areas of the law which are starved of attention.

Note: The law students pictured in this cartoon are fictitious.  Any similarity to any law students past or present is purely co-incidental.

Speaker or MC

The Australian Property Institute have just booked Paul to speak at their March conference.  If you wish to book Paul as a speaker or MC call Marg Booth of the Great Expectation Speakers' Bureau on 61 (7) 3844 2277 or email her at marg@greatexpectation.com.au 

Click here for a short video clip of Paul in action.


The content of the Law & Disorder eZine is to give you legal basics and in some instances included unashamedly to try and make you laugh.  In law it is sometimes difficult to work out what is serious and what is just for fun.  Therefore, if you plan to do anything legal, rely on your own lawyer’s advice or instruct me to look at the particular facts of your case.  Not only will I deny responsibility for the legal content but also for some of the jokes.

In this Issue
The Perfect crime
Intestacy - the dead end

Annual Cartoon Caption Competition

New - free legal screensaver


Forward to a Colleague


The Law & Disorder eZine attempts to provide legal information in an entertaining and amusing manner to help clients avoid predictable legal issues.

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