Sun Tzu: Maintain secrecy, act with stealth, win without conflict, your triumphs should not be known
If you could sum up your daughter-in-law in two words would they be "gin-soddened"?
Is she:
But for your kindliness and the restraint that you have shown over the years the family relationship would have gone to pot.
You worry that on your death, if you leave money to your son, she will blow it. What if by the time of you death they have split up and her lawyer claims the inheritance as part of the divorce settlement?
You could leave it to your grandchildren but you know what that lot are like.
One way is to leave your money in your will in trust to your son and grandchildren only. This is called a "testamentary trust". You can appoint your son as trustee but it may be better to appoint your brother or your lawyer to be the trustee, with the discretion as to how much to give each year, if anything. If you are feeling cruel, appoint your accountant.
There is a lot of satisfaction in immediately telling your daughter-in-law your succession arrangements. But she may seek revenge by trying to commit you to a home at the first sign of dementia.
Therefore, it is best to leave it as a surprise. Alternatively, tell her you are just thinking about it and see if she picks up her act.
But if this all seems too hard, there is a lot to be said for telling her that you are leaving your money to your son in the usual way and then proceeding to spend it frivolously.
(c) Paul Brennan 2020. All rights Reserved.
Extract from "The Art of War, Peace & Palaver: The Contentious Guide to Legal Disputes" by Paul Brennan
NEW BOOK "THE ART OF WAR, PEACE AND PALAVER: THE CONTENTIOUS GUIDE TO LEGAL DISPUTES"
